5/8/2016 (Day 129) The Beauty of Mother

My mom passed on February 27th, 2009 (and all of my grandmother's long before that). So for the past several years, for me, Mother's Day had been marked with a sense of loss. This was the 8th Mother's day that I have spent without my mother here, in the physical realm. This year was different though because, while I love my mother no less, and I would absolutely love for her to have been here to celebrate on this day; I found that I didn't feel the shadow of sadness over her not being here that I have for previous 7 since her passing. 

In the past year, I have consciously done a great deal of energy work to clear out old blocks and attachments, and to release energies and blueprints that tethered me to the past and kept me from attaining a higher vibrational frequency on a regular basis. Something that I learned over the course of the work that I've been doing is that I have more control over my thinking than I realized, and that it was my thinking  that dictated how I felt (not the other way around...I wasn't a "slave to my emotions" as I had always believed myself to be). And I also realized just how often I chose to allow my thinking (controlled by ego) to cause me to feel bad and that it was always my mind/ego that led me to spiral into lower vibrational frequencies...every single time it happened. 

And, so the way I looked at Mother's day changed this year (as has the way I look at many things). Instead of choosing to focus on who I have lost (my own mother, grandmothers, aunties, and ''other mother''), I chose to focus instead on Gaia and on the essence of Mothering...to connect with the energies of the Divine Mother, to contemplate Her in a universal sense, and to honor Her presence in our world. I chose to think about all of the amazing women that have mothered me and moulded me over the years and to honor them. I chose to honor myself as Mother and reflect on witnessing the birth of my best friend's beautiful daughter. I recalled how AMAZING it was witness her emerging from the womb and to look into her big brown eyes just seconds afterward...which led me to choose to become a mother myself. I thought about how much being a mother changed my life...how it saved me and how hard it was being a single mother. I thanked my mother, in Spirit, for her support in those early years...and thought about how I never could've done it without her. I thought about how thankful I am to have had a daughter and recalled the amazing experience of witnessing the birth of my daughter's daughter and basked in the glory of how wonderful it is the be a grandmother. And because of this, it was a beautiful day and I did not feel sad that my mother was not here, because I could feel her near and she was happy to know that I was not spending the day missing her, but honoring the essence of Motherhood with Love and Joy. 

Happy Mother's Day to all. I hope you had a joyous day as well <3